photos by Jinny undrcat.tumblr.com
MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh gosh i haven't been blogging for such a long time largely due to the messed up internet connection (advice on routers, anyone?? pretty please??) that I got pissed off and right now im using my iPhone's hotspot connection. I hope it doesn't chalk up too much data…
But anyway THIS IS AMAZING ITS ALREADY ONE WEEK INTO 2012…?!?! I feel like i have so much to account to, both myself and to my wonderful and faithful readers. Some people may ask why would anyone like to place themselves in a situation where they have to account to people whom they do not even know (unnecessary stress etc). But i feel that sometimes, the comments and the questions i get because of this blog, are exactly what's keeping me going in moments of my life; moments so bleak and dark, moments that cripple me. Its people whom i do not know, even bothering to know what is going on, and people whom i may know in real life but leave anonymous (or not) comments just to encourage me, such effort, really. These are people who care. It is unfortunate, but sometimes, such warmth and concern are exactly what is missing in day to day, face to face, life.
In this new year, i am primed to say that, i, am always ready to give, ready to be there, ready to be seeking chances to be a blessing. I was pondering a lot about this in 2011, how events in life has made me stumble backwards, unwillingly, made me defensive (a natural response considering disappointment and hurts), made me cautious. But one thing that Jinny has told me, impacted and literally changed my mindset for as long as i can go- the cautious never live, they merely exist. So, even if I know im literally prepping myself to be let down, to be rejected, I want to do all i can for others. And if this blog can in any way serve as a form of comfort (because it is always nice to know someone is going through the same thing/worse and live to tell the story, hey you know you can too), motivation, inspiration, it is my greatest honour. In giving, one receives.
Photos taken by Jinny, one of the greatest people im so glad to have met, and keep in my life. Toying with her camera and took a shot of my shimmerywhoopeedoofestive Topshop top before stepping into the lounge area of our class's hotel room exclaiming to her "CAN YOU STOP BUYING SUCH AMAZING CAMERAS AND LENSES?!" Do check out her tumblr :) The rest of the funny shots were taken same day after prom, where i spent the night with my classmates by the Singapore River, and looking back, it was a truly beautiful night, in all its simplicity.
Lesson learnt in 2011: Poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam:27, 1850
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when i sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.