No anger, no resentment, im just not ready, yet.
Showing posts with label x. Show all posts
Showing posts with label x. Show all posts
2 October 2011
x.03 hope love glory
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, no love, no glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, no love, no glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
// I guess i could post this because something tells me you don't ever come back here anymore so it doesn't matter. I just... don't want to be forgotten. That's all.
5 September 2011
x.02
Do read the following with a pinch of sensitivity and kindness & whoever you are, hopefully you'd leave me a bit of courage..
The past few days i have been a wreck.
Really, truthfully, honest to the bones.
I have never talked about this on my blog before, and maybe, subconsciously i have been waiting for the right time all along.
Ever since stumbling upon those texts to her from you, i have been struggling with trust. No, i have been dealing with that since goodness knows when. But in these past 3 months, as much as it hurts, i have come to realise that i can never deny my love for you. With all your "i will be waiting for you"s and "always. anytime."s, i stepped back in. But, instead, i am pushed away.
I don't even know why i bothered to deny and conceal the truth that every single day i was missing you. I looked like someone that was "moving on so quickly" and probably lost all respect from your friends- what i know is not a given and have to be earned. Seriously, who am i kidding???? Why did i even bother to put on such a wonderful show that on formspring someone asked if i still love you and i said NAH I LOVE HIM MORE AS A FRIEND. oh reaaaaaaallly now. What the hell am i trying to do???
Why didn't i just shout to the world that i still love you so very much after all these happened??? Betrayal is promising to be on your side and yet being on somebody else's. But never was there a day i ceased to pray for you, for us. I overcame that hurt and now...? All i needed was you to mean what you say when we parted in June, because right now every day i have been crying so much i don't even have an idea where do the tears come from. I hate mornings, i hate waking up, i hate sleeping because i dream of you and sit up sobbing in the night, i hate listening to my iPod and very cautiously choose my songs if i have to.
I hate every single bloody thing that reminds me of you.
And all of these were made worse when last night you told me "whatever the outcome.." i didn't even hear what came after that, because i sincerely believe i died at that moment. The fact that there is going to be an alternative outcome coupled with the "i can't guarantee i'd love you like before" oh god i don't actually dare to even look at these words that i just typed out..
A full heart, wholesome, i gave it to you, untainted. You taught me to let someone in and showed me the beautiful world of unreserved love...yet the very same pair of hands broke it. Even so, you're amazing. & given a choice to start all over again, i'd still choose to have you as my first love, sweet.
You said you need time to find yourself.. and really, i don't mind the distance if it means you'd come back for me, and only then we know nothing can ever come between us again.
I always believed that if things were meant to be, they will.. and God will place both persons back again. But, if we make that choice to let each other go this time round, im afraid things would be different. The freedom of choice is a gift, and if its a decision made, nothing can change it.
So please, Nicky, don't take too long.
Don't let me slip by again.
The past few days i have been a wreck.
Really, truthfully, honest to the bones.
I have never talked about this on my blog before, and maybe, subconsciously i have been waiting for the right time all along.
Ever since stumbling upon those texts to her from you, i have been struggling with trust. No, i have been dealing with that since goodness knows when. But in these past 3 months, as much as it hurts, i have come to realise that i can never deny my love for you. With all your "i will be waiting for you"s and "always. anytime."s, i stepped back in. But, instead, i am pushed away.
I don't even know why i bothered to deny and conceal the truth that every single day i was missing you. I looked like someone that was "moving on so quickly" and probably lost all respect from your friends- what i know is not a given and have to be earned. Seriously, who am i kidding???? Why did i even bother to put on such a wonderful show that on formspring someone asked if i still love you and i said NAH I LOVE HIM MORE AS A FRIEND. oh reaaaaaaallly now. What the hell am i trying to do???
Why didn't i just shout to the world that i still love you so very much after all these happened??? Betrayal is promising to be on your side and yet being on somebody else's. But never was there a day i ceased to pray for you, for us. I overcame that hurt and now...? All i needed was you to mean what you say when we parted in June, because right now every day i have been crying so much i don't even have an idea where do the tears come from. I hate mornings, i hate waking up, i hate sleeping because i dream of you and sit up sobbing in the night, i hate listening to my iPod and very cautiously choose my songs if i have to.
I hate every single bloody thing that reminds me of you.
And all of these were made worse when last night you told me "whatever the outcome.." i didn't even hear what came after that, because i sincerely believe i died at that moment. The fact that there is going to be an alternative outcome coupled with the "i can't guarantee i'd love you like before" oh god i don't actually dare to even look at these words that i just typed out..
A full heart, wholesome, i gave it to you, untainted. You taught me to let someone in and showed me the beautiful world of unreserved love...yet the very same pair of hands broke it. Even so, you're amazing. & given a choice to start all over again, i'd still choose to have you as my first love, sweet.
You said you need time to find yourself.. and really, i don't mind the distance if it means you'd come back for me, and only then we know nothing can ever come between us again.
I always believed that if things were meant to be, they will.. and God will place both persons back again. But, if we make that choice to let each other go this time round, im afraid things would be different. The freedom of choice is a gift, and if its a decision made, nothing can change it.
So please, Nicky, don't take too long.
Don't let me slip by again.
24 August 2011
x.01
I want you and you are not here. I pause
in this garden, breathing the colour thought is
before language into still air. Even your name
is a pale ghost and, though I exhale it again
and again, it will not stay with me. Tonight
I make you up, imagine you, your movements clearer
than the words I have you say you said before.
Wherever you are now, inside my head you fix me
with a look, standing here whilst cool late light dissolves into the earth. I have got your mouth wrong,
but still it smiles. I hold you closer, miles away,
inventing love, until the calls of nightjars
interrupt and turn what was to come, was certain, into memory. The stars are filming us for no one.
Miles away, Carol Ann Duffy
From Selling Manhattan (1987)
in this garden, breathing the colour thought is
before language into still air. Even your name
is a pale ghost and, though I exhale it again
and again, it will not stay with me. Tonight
I make you up, imagine you, your movements clearer
than the words I have you say you said before.
Wherever you are now, inside my head you fix me
with a look, standing here whilst cool late light dissolves into the earth. I have got your mouth wrong,
but still it smiles. I hold you closer, miles away,
inventing love, until the calls of nightjars
interrupt and turn what was to come, was certain, into memory. The stars are filming us for no one.
Miles away, Carol Ann Duffy
From Selling Manhattan (1987)
14 August 2011
x
"She have the sun in her. Tell the truth now. She don't come to your house in this place England they tell me about, she don't come to your beautiful house to beg you to marry with her. No, it's you come all the long way to her house- it's you beg her to marry. And she love you and she give you all she have. Now you say you don't love her and you break her up."
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