10 January 2010

Unstable state of mind

Im posting this entry to keep myself sane.

It's the night before the results now. And dang, im not in the most stable state of mind currently. I mean, how can i be?

A few hours ago i was at my greatgrand ma's place, as usual every sunday kind of thing. While everyone was having dinner and chatting, suddenly i just grew quiet (normally im yakking so much i can't stand it myself) and the thoughts of the release of results were running through my mind. And i started tearing and sobbing. I know it sounds nutty and like i've got a few screws loose up there, but the stress, excitement (?!) and anticipation all rolled together just have such a toll on me.

My aunts were totally ohhhh don't cry don't cry! While my uncles were O.O and my cousins (all younger than i am), were trying to figure out what's going on, LOL. Im really touched by my aunt's text to me when i got home telling me to put my trust in God. My mum was fantastic too.

Actually, I've been pretty chill about it, the results and all, (ok the occasional nightmares that became more often this week T.T) but the results mean a lot to me. I know that you might be scoffing, and go like, aiya results onlyyyyyyyyyyy what's the big deal. Yeah sorry, it is a big deal to me.

Honestly speaking, im not just nervous about the results, whether is it good or bad. Im more nervous about the shock that's gonna come from that bloody results slip and the anticipation while waiting to get the results. The kind of feeling that tears you apart on the inside. Anyone get what im talking about???

But thank God for the wonderful people around me. Thanks Kok for your toast to straight As yesterday at timbre and of course, happy birthday to you! I really hope you enjoyed yourself and enjoyed our company :) And thanks to jiele for being there and not dissing me off like, aiyaaaaaaaa results only scared what (i really feel like slapping whoever who says that to me next).

Snail i love ya many many maaaaany too, and WHATEVER crap happens, im HERE.

Im getting all emotional again, and i can't thank enough for all who are a part of my life. I always thank people when i get all loopy 'cos im afraid i won't get the chance to T.T its a maaaaaaaaaad world.

My laptop is officially screwed, and a screwed being is sleeping in the room beside mine. Sigh.

That's why i say im posting to keep myself sane.

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